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I spent the past couple of days in Devon with Moose's family, because Plymouth University had its open day on Wednesday and Moose is going there in September for civil engineering. It was the first real time I've spent with his mum and dad, which was nice, but the campus visit was a mixed bag of emotions, for me. I desperately want to go back to university. While I made friendships set to last a lifetime at Bath Spa, I chose the course because it was easy, and Bath Spa because it was local. It wasn't a large university, and if you wanted anything other than cheap nightclub events at the SU Bar, Bath Spa offered very little in terms of social activities. My course, while fun, I'm sure, didn't offer any industry support and to this day I don't know a single person land a relevant job thanks to the course.

Walking around Plymouth University, I just wish I'd done it right. I wish I'd taken some real time to do the right course, in something I wanted, really wanted, to do, not something that was easy. I wish I'd found the right campus, and not one that was a short commute. I wish I'd picked a city university, since I've spent my life longing to leave the countryside. I wish I'd tried to go back in the past few years, back when degrees were affordable and not fantasy-land expensive.

Sadly, truthfully, had someone the power to say "okay, we'll reverse time", I wouldn't have the guts to change any of that, because for all the things I wish I could change about my university experience, I made friends there that matter more than any of it. Damn them.

Plymouth University looks like the sort of place I would choose to study, now, if I could. The courses seem to have a lot of support from all over - Moose gets to do a placement year somewhere and they have plenty of industry links. The campus is smack bang in the middle of a really nice coastal city, spread out in a variety of buildings dotted about. We had a really nice time there, staying in a cute B&B that offered Moose and I a seaside view (I'm told his parents and sister weren't so lucky with their view, haha.)

We also got to see the house he's moving into in September (he had viewings on Tuesday and signed up for one by Tuesday night). It's a five minute walk from town, and it was pretty surreal to be a part of that. I intend on spending a lot of time with him once he moves down to Plymouth, so it was nice to see the room I'll be invading for the next year. ;p

I'm not worried particularly about Moose going off to university. If his friends are anything to go by, he'll still be the same guy who spends every evening playing video games online. There's a gaming society there and I hope he meets a bunch of new nerdy people to hang out with. I'm extremely excited for him (more than he is, I think) because I love the university lifestyle and love learning and love being around passionate, young people. I am however pretty sad for myself that he's going off to do these fantastic new things and I'm still here, still drawing, still working part time at a cafe, still doing the same ol' same ol', living a relatively mundane life that my university experience didn't aid in any way. I don't begrudge him, I'm just sort of wallowing between happiness for him, and absolute envy that he gets to do what I wish I'd done right, and certainly what I wish I could do again.

He's fantastic, of course. He usually is, especially when it matters. I tried very hard to hide any of the jealous blues I had during the campus visit, but he knows me well enough to hug me and hold me and ask me every five minutes 'are you okay?'.

We walked, Tuesday night, back to the B&B, along the coast, by way of pub. It was the longest day of the year, and we were still enjoying sun late into the evening. I told him, "You're going to love it here."

And quick as a flash, while squeezing my hand, Moose yet again was fantastic. "Yeah," he agreed. "And you will, too."