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Soo... was this one of you?

I replied honestly and a bit emo-ly. Giving up doctorwhy was the worst thing I have ever done, in terms of art and motivation and progression and creativity. Seeing stuff like this reminds me I've let a lot of people down in failing to update vworpvworp... reminds me how it felt to be the (part) creator of something that made so many people happy.

Fuck popularity, it was never about that. It was about creating something that people enjoyed - to the point that they now miss it. For a year I had that power, as small and insiginificant as it was. It made hundreds of people smile. I don't have that anymore. I can't do that anymore.

I suck.

I'll update vworpvworp soon.


( 7 comments — Leave a comment )
Sep. 1st, 2009 09:18 pm (UTC)
Hey! You don't suck! doctorwhy was a lot of fun, but you don't owe people anything. Don't beat yourself up if you don't feel like doing something like that anymore. Do what you want to do when you want to do it and don't worry about it. :)
Sep. 1st, 2009 09:23 pm (UTC)
Shoot, I didn't mean to make you feel bad :(

You're not letting us down, or at least I don't feel that way. You don't have any obligation to update or not. As nice as it would be, it's not something you can or should be guilted or bullied into. I'm sorry if I made you feel bad, it truly was not my intention. If I had an ulterior motive it would have been to point new people over so they could enjoy it, too. (Because you made something special, and everyone should see it.) Definitely NOT to give you grief.

Again, I'm sorry if I made you feel bad or guilty, or if my bumbling attempt to make it better has somehow made it worse. I should really stick to trolling F!S, it's what I'm good at.
Sep. 1st, 2009 09:33 pm (UTC)
No, don't! You've no idea how much F!S posts about doctorwhy mean to me (and lazenich).

I'm emo because I LOVED the damned comic. As much as I often whined about it at time. I'm sad because I didn't appreciate it back when I had it. I didn't appreciate how special it was to have something so many people loved. I LOVED having the watchers and the commenters, but it's only now when I'm back to doing nothing that I realise how... damned ...amazing it felt to have that, back when I did.

I wouldn't mind had I bounced into something else, had I thrown myself into vworpvworp or any other comic, but I just let myself... flounder. I don't draw anymore, don't enjoy it and I don't know why. I have all these awesome ideas (more fancomics with lazenich and such), and I just don't DO them, and I don't know why.

And then I see stuff like that secret and it's like, THAT'S why I should make the effort. THAT'S why it's worth pushing yourself. Because as much as you whine and go "hur I've no motivation," it's WORTH it so much when you hear people - 8 months later - still enjoy and miss what you did. It's worth pushing through that shit and angst and lack of muse because... look what happens? We still get hundreds of hits on the comics. People still care. It's insane.

I didn't mean to make YOU feel bad about posting it (OR call you out on it!) Despite the emo (I'm prone to it lately), it's stuff like this I need. Not egowanking, but that... reminder that it's worth it. That I need to get over this godforsaken block and create again. I feel guilty because I let myself down more than anyone, not because - heaven forbid - somebody enjoyed something I drew so much that they felt the need to share it.

tl;dr, Don't you dare feel bad. I need the kick up the butt. I need to be reminded that what I create MATTERS to people. I need to work on vworpvworp, and I need to bloody well get over myself. You've no idea how much I needed that secret.

(And you've no idea how much I want to just plain start doctorwhy up again, either. I've ofteen been close to posting my own secret on there effectively apologising for the way I've belly upped on the fandom, but never could work out how to do it without revealing who I am. Derp.)

Edited at 2009-09-01 09:37 pm (UTC)
Sep. 2nd, 2009 01:54 am (UTC)
Oh. Yey I'm helping!! :D

No worries on calling me out. Like I said, I mainly just troll F!S. Sometimes I put up something I actually think, but it's rarely actually a secret, just something I would like to see the response to or think needs to be said.
Sep. 2nd, 2009 08:31 pm (UTC)
"revealing who you are"?? You have a secret identity??
Sep. 2nd, 2009 12:42 pm (UTC)
Definitely! DoctorWhy was really cool and good fun and I enjoyed it.
Sep. 2nd, 2009 08:30 pm (UTC)
I have something to send to you! It's a giftie. If you'd like it, please email me or LJ PM me your addy!
( 7 comments — Leave a comment )